Kick off your sandals, grab the nearest bottle of plum wine, cue up Netflix, and get ready to drink.
Take a Drink When
- Danny Rand drops a nugget of pop-eastern philosophy.
- Danny’s actions contradict his words or his stated pop philosophy.
- Danny acts in a socially inappropriate manner.
- Drink double when reactions to Danny’s inappropriate behavior are exceptionally mild relative to the level of his offense.
- Danny Rand asserts authority from a place of ignorance on any topic, like business or adult relationships.
- Drink double for mansplaining, whitesplaining, etc.
- Child abuse is portrayed or explained away as a growth experience, not trauma.
- Every time you become annoyed at Danny’s inconsistent and unexplored PTSD.
- You sympathize with the people who have to deal with Danny Rand.
- Drink double when you sympathize with his current antagonist.
- You have no sympathy for rich people problems.
- Supporting characters are way more interesting than the “hero.”
- The elements of a given scene — dialog, action, visuals, and music — clash unappealingly.
- The pacing slows to the point that you realize you’ve forgotten what you’re watching.
- Arrow did it better.
- Colleen Wing is underused or forced into fulfilling a cliched trope to further Danny’s story arc.
- Finn Jones chews the scenery, or rapid cuts substitute for his ability to fight.
Finish Your Drink When
- It first occurs to you that Finn Jones and Jessica Henwick should have been cast for each other’s roles.
- Every time you realize a plot point has been dropped with no resolution. (e.g. why did Danny return to New York?)
- The fact that the showrunner wrote for Dexter and Six Feet Under makes you cry.
- You have to pause watching to rant about it, either online or in real life.
